An abusive marriage can cause much stress and anxiety. However, there are some instances wherein one spouse decides to go through mediation to reach an amicable agreement with the other party. It may be for the benefit of the children and their co-parenting relationship.
What are the challenges of mediation in an abusive marriage?
When a partner files for divorce due to abuse or fear of abuse, it means that they have had enough of the mistreatment. They want to move forward, away from the nightmare the marriage gives them. But when the other partner pleads for a chance to pursue the divorce amicably, it may cause them to change their minds. However, there are challenges in using mediation, which include:
- Power imbalance: Abuse creates an imbalance of power, with the abuser dominating their partner. Mediation will make it difficult for the abused spouse to negotiate freely and fairly.
- Safety concerns: Within a small room, even in the presence of mediators, an abuser will likely intimidate the abused spouse, leading to more emotional and psychological harm.
- Effectiveness: Mediation is only successful when both parties are open to communicating to settle things amicably. Working towards a mutual agreement would be difficult for the abused spouse.
Even when the abuser is not around, they have a particular hold over the abused spouse, which can handicap the level of confidence the abused spouse has.
What are the special considerations for mediation if both parties agree to it?
If both parties agree to mediation, there are special considerations to proceed, namely screening and protective measures. Screening can determine if the parties can benefit from the mediation or if it should undergo another process. If mediation is considered, then protective measures should be put in place, such as separate sessions and the presence of legal representatives. Someone keen on determining if mediation is the right avenue and firm in maintaining the measures to keep the abused spouse safe.