Divorcing someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be a challenge due to their lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, need for admiration and tendency to use gaslighting. Accordingly, you may believe your only option is going to court.
However, mediation can be effective in your case, as well – as long as you go into the process well-informed. Here is how you can successfully approach divorce mediation with a narcissist:
Document everything
Assume that your spouse is going to lie – often and regularly. They may lie to you, the court and themselves, as long as what they say fits the narrative they want to create.
You can counter the lies with cold, hard documentation. Get in the habit of keeping every communication, including emails and text messages that your spouse makes. Insist that anything they try to convey in person be written down for “clarity” so that you can create a record.
Control your emotions
Divorce mediation can be emotional regardless of the mental health condition of the parties involved. However, the emotions can intensify when a narcissist is one of the parties. It may not be easy sitting across someone who can say anything to “win” and who enjoys trying to get you upset.
Thus, it’s vital to control your emotions during a mediation session. Respond to their claims in a non-emotional way so that you take all of the “fun” out of their approach. That can move them from doing things just to needle you into actual productive action. It’s never easy to divorce a narcissist, but these kinds of tactics